you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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