i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize