who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just invented taco cereal.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
