at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
