gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Every concussion has its silver lining
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
