I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
