You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
