those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
