She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
