I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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