You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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