I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
