tell your sister to shave her snatch
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
