you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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