He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
