he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
