Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
