is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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