I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love having hate sex.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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