Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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