This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
