The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize