There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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