please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
