You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
