a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
