dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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