Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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