careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
