Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
