What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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