Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
