Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
