I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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