I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
