No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
