He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
