This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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