I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
