youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
