I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize