her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
