Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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