when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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