Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
