Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
