im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
