dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
