I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I didn't notice because vodka
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
