need another drink. this is the easiest way
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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