Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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