i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
