i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
