Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
