so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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