If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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