Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
