I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
