roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
