I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
