so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
