You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
