My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
