Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
